Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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