Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
3 2 1 whiskey
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