it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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