There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
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i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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