You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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