I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
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Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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