So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
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You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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