Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
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Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
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So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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