I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize