I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
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The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
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I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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