note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
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Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
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You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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