guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Randomize