We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize