Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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