I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
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Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
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I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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