Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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