i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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