Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize