Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like iHOP with fire
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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