if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize