yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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