Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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