I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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