i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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