You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize