"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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