what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
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You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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