I hope mine doesn't look like that
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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