I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I have fence marks all over my body
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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