Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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