i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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