My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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