You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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