I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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