i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
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theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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