He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize