I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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