The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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