He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
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corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
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I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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