Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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