I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize