Texts From Last Night

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  (972): View more from Texas

  Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?

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  (972): Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life? http://tfl.nu/jl0s
  Replies (34) Good night (3094) Bad night (800) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.

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  (919): his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more. http://tfl.nu/6a2v
  Replies (15) Good night (913) Bad night (3995) Order T-Shirt
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way

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  (267): oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way http://tfl.nu/43of
  Replies (16) Good night (4014) Bad night (1017) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!

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  (480): YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST (602): I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise! http://tfl.nu/2ck7
  Replies (36) Good night (6818) Bad night (823)
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  (408): View more from California

  He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this

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  (408): He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this http://tfl.nu/m93u
  Replies (4) Good night (653) Bad night (3634) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.

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  (612): Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff. http://tfl.nu/mldb
  Replies (2) Good night (873) Bad night (2858) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.

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  (703): No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off. http://tfl.nu/2s4x
  Replies (10) Good night (6578) Bad night (801)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting

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  (845): I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting http://tfl.nu/p4gt
  Replies (14) Good night (6417) Bad night (950) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.

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  (631): I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend. http://tfl.nu/oodk
  Replies (3) Good night (471) Bad night (2243) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.

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  (860): Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it. http://tfl.nu/t1oh
  Replies (15) Good night (2264) Bad night (768) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage

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  (206): Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage http://tfl.nu/qnyx
  Replies (3) Good night (1831) Bad night (1070) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment

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  (302): I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment http://tfl.nu/03jc
  Replies (9) Good night (1172) Bad night (493) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.

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  (208): Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind. http://tfl.nu/wqhb
  Replies (4) Good night (927) Bad night (306) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear

  (310): View more from California

  We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.

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  (310): The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear (310): We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics. http://tfl.nu/35z2
  Replies (6) Good night (1048) Bad night (379)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.

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  (443): You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere. http://tfl.nu/84cy
  Replies (7) Good night (1317) Bad night (200) Order T-Shirt

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