im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my night got REAL pukey
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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