He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
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