i always forget guys have bellybuttons
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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