I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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