How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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