VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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