I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Is Oprah even human
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize