she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
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